There are so many things to consider once you are home with your new born. Based on the most popular concerns of new moms, we have put together a list to help you through the first 3 months.
The Fourth Trimester
Did you know babies are actually born too early? Many animals are born able to walk on the first day out of the womb. Recreate life on the inside of your womb by keeping baby swaddled and close to your body. Your baby is used to hearing your heartbeat when in your womb; placing baby on your bare chest helps soothe and mimic being in your womb.
Get a Sling or Carrier for Baby
This is essential. Your newborn is going to want to be held all the time. The best way to keep your hands free, and keep baby close, is to get a sling or carrier. Ergo Baby makes a very comfortable one and has great low back support. Make sure that baby’s knees are higher than his hips to ensure proper alignment in the carrier.
Be nice to yourself.
One of the most important things to remember is to give yourself time to adjust and get ready everyday. Because so many changes are happening to your body and schedule, keeping a schedule for yourself and not lounging around in pajamas all day is important to your wellbeing. Every morning, try to take a shower, brush your teeth, do your hair (if you have time) and get dressed in real clothes. Research shows that this actually lifts your spirits and gives you a more positive outlook on the day.
Accept all Offers to Help
Help won’t come around once baby is older, so take advantage of it now. You are going to be exhausted most of the time. Accepting help to get a nap in, read your favorite magazine, or engage in self care is invaluable.
Hold off on visitors at least for the first three weeks if you can.
Ok, this may seem harsh, but if you can swing it, very helpful. This doesn’t include family members (like your mom, sister or mother-in- law) who are actually there to help. This applies to friends and family members that just want to come over to visit your new baby and you. You may think this isn’t a big deal, but friends coming to visit really takes a lot of energy, and many new moms find themselves exhausted after just a couple hours of entertaining guests. You may think that you don’t have to entertain your friends when they come over, but it is ingrained in us to make our guests comfortable and take care of them when they visit. Take those first weeks to get adjusted and rest, then have your friends and family come visit.
Distinguish Day From Night Immediately
During the day change baby into his play clothes, turn on lights and open window coverings, interact with baby as much as you can (play, talk, and interact), and do not mute everyday noises, let him hear the dishwasher or put music on (this includes even when baby is sleeping. At night, turn off lights that do not need to be on and dim the lights you need to keep on. Change baby into pajamas, a signal that the day is changing, and try not to talk or interact when you feed baby before bed and during the night. If you can keep a dim light light on during the night and refrain from turning lights on for middle of the night feedings, this will help baby fall back to sleep.
Let Baby Sleep in your Room
This will help your baby get back to sleep quickly in the middle of the night after nursing. Having baby in another room means your baby will be awake longer, you have to leave your bedroom, and there is more activity going on. Keeping baby close at night helps to ensure you and baby will fall asleep faster in the middle of the night.
Feeding, Changing, Sleeping, Repeat
Many new moms are nervous about the first few weeks when baby is crying and they don’t know why. Before getting too stressed and thinking you don’t know how to care for your baby, do the following steps first. Try to feed baby, change your baby’s diaper, and see if baby needs to nap. These are the most common needs your baby will need in the first several weeks after being born.
Baby’s Diapers
Know your colors. Yes, it may not be the most pleasant topic, but knowing what to look for will keep you from being concerned about your baby’s bowel movements. Baby will have dark black stool, and be slightly sticky, for the first two days, this is from the amniotic fluid baby ingested while still in your womb. After that, diapers will be full with yellow, slightly grainy stool. This is from digesting breast milk and completely normal. If you choose to use formula, your baby’s stool will look more like an adult’s, brown and slightly firmer. If any of your baby’s stools contains blood, or does not look quite right, call your pediatrician right away.
Sponge Baths
Baths for babies can be incredibly scary and shocking. Water outside the womb is new for them, so for the first 90 days purchase a small newborn bathtub and sponge bath baby, remembering to keep the room warm because babies loose heat very quickly. You only need to bathe baby every other day at first.
Follow That Advice: Sleep When Your Baby is Sleeping!
Everyone says this, but few new moms take advantage of this. Many new mothers decided to get caught up on laundry, cleaning, or various household tasks. Accept that your house may be a little messier in the first 90 days, but know it is only temporary. A slightly messy house is better than being exhausted and stressed.
Your Mom Really Will Help
Mom’s of new born mothers can be difficult sometimes, but they are so helpful if you, again, accept that it is only temporary. Remember your mom has done this before, and accepting help is very important. Let her come stay with you for the first two weeks if possible. She is bound to be a great support, and can help with household tasks while you relax in bed with baby.
Do Not Judge and Don’t Let Others Judge You
It is very easy for new moms to judge others choices of how they decide to raise their baby. If you are making all of your own organic baby food, don’t judge others who buy their baby food from the grocery store, this will only alienate you from other mom friends and create hurt feelings. Similarly, don’t let other moms tell you that you are not doing things correctly. If you want baby to sleep with you, be confident in your decision, if you want to use formula instead of breastfeeding, don’t let others make you feel guilty. It is best to limit exposure to other mother’s that contribute to negative feelings, and encourage friendships with other new moms that raise you up and make you feel good.
Don’t Forget About Your Partner
This is the area that gets seriously neglected the first several months. Essentially, the first year of baby’s life your relationship may suffer. But if you acknowledge that this may happen, you can prevent it from actually occurring. You don’t have to plan elaborate dates, but having a date night once a month is extremely helpful. Sending sweet e-mails or text messages, and appreciating your partner will foster feelings of love and care. Remember, you are both in this together, getting up in the middle of the night, being sleep deprived, holding baby for hours on end. It is easy to get frustrated at each other in the first months, but try to remember that you are partners in this and on the same team.
These suggestions are meant to make your life a little easier for the first several months, but do not be misled, the first months are going to be difficult and you are going to go through a lot of changes. Try to slow down your thinking, relax, and ask for help, these are bound to ease the transition resulting in a more pleasant experience for you and your partner.
Love,
